


How to Miss Someone and Never Know if They're Coming Back

by igrab



Series: Everlong [3]
Category: Tron: Legacy (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 03:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrab/pseuds/igrab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan isn't keeping track of the days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Miss Someone and Never Know if They're Coming Back

It's not the first night he's slept alone, and even in the normal course of things, it wouldn't've been his last. That isn't to say that Alan hadn't missed him, those nights that Flynn wasn't there; but it wasn't a necessity, and he didn't so much want him there as wish, idly, that he could be.

Alan hasn't marked the date on a calendar. He isn't keeping track. There's no line dividing time with-Flynn and without-Flynn, because he refuses to think that he's gone, that he won't just walk in the door, mumble some crap excuse that Alan will wave off instantly, and fall right back into his arms where he belongs. It's going to happen. He knows it. There isn't an end and there isn't even a gradual transition, no matter what the media says. He's coming back. Taking his sweet time about it, but it's happening. Alan's just waiting.

He suddenly realizes, one night, that he never understood what 'missing' truly means.

It isn't that he thinks this is forever, or that he doesn't believe, because he does. It's not about that.

It's the here and now. It's the empty space beside him, the pager with no new messages, the thousand things Alan sees, every day, that make him think 'I should tell Flynn about that', 'Flynn would love this', 'I wish Flynn were here'. It's a constant weight, growing heavier each day, of all the times Alan wishes he could say 'I love you'. It's falling asleep alone at night, not just once, not twice, but day after day after day. It's never knowing if maybe - somehow - he could be doing something to help.

Alan isn't keeping track of the days. All he knows is that at some point, they became 'too many', and every night he thinks - Tomorrow will be better. It's one day closer to the day that Flynn comes home.


End file.
